Monday Motivation: Be Polite and Go With the Flow (November 4, 2024)
Here are two intertwined pieces of ancient advice for this contentious week: You can control how you behave but not what happens. And that will never change.
It’s going to be a rough week for at least half of the US, for roughly half of anyone who cares about the US, and probably for hordes of onlookers — and that’s in addition to the usual ups and downs. Here’s some ancient advice: be polite and go with the flow.
“Confucius says: Respect without manners leads to toil; caution without manners leads to timidity; courage without manners leads to chaos; frankness without manners leads to pain.”1
子曰：「恭而無禮則勞，慎而無禮則葸，勇而無禮則亂，直而無禮則絞。」
While we could bicker over the nuances of 禮 (“manners”) — and as a translator I’d love to — the general point is that there is a proper way to behave in society: manners, politeness, courtesy, propriety, decorum, civility, respect, even integrity.
This week in particular, consider how you behave toward the people you encounter.
Next up is Seneca:
“Fate leads the willing, but drags the unwilling.”2
Ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt.
Seneca’s point is that you don’t get to decide what’s going to happen. You can go willingly or kicking and screaming, but you’re going to go where fate leads.
This week in particular, go forward willingly.
A final note: Confucius’ advice seems easy to carry out because what we do is almost completely in our control. We can decide to be polite. By contrast, Seneca’s advice seems difficult to master, because how we feel is almost completely out of our control. Can we really decide to be willing?
But which one do you find easier in practice?
And perhaps these are two sides of the same coin?
Analects, 8:2, c. 500 BCE.
Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium, 107.11, 1st c. CE.